So, I have been toying around with the thought of writing a blog. My mind tends to go about 1,000 miles a minute at times with lots of different thoughts popping up here and there, which can be exhausting. So I thought maybe if I try to get it out on “Paper” or at least the virtual kind, then maybe my head could quit spinning like the little girl on The Exorcist. Fitting since we just had Halloween.
My head is like a busy train station. With all the different trains of thoughts I have, I am often left on the dock of the train station, and well there went my train. Don’t worry there is another one coming down the track and if they aren’t careful they may run into each other, this happens often. I think my friends would agree based on the random comments that often come out of my mouth. I can tell by the puzzled look on their face they are thinking, where did that come from?
So many things have happened to my husband (Billy) and I this past year it is hard to at times to just sit there and enjoy this LIFE. Let’s see, we both moved to Marietta (our hometown) from Columbus. He left a few months before I did and on the day I left Columbus I took a pregnancy test and found out that in a little less than 9 months we were going to be having our first baby. We thought that we would love it back home, but I couldn’t make the adjustment. I left a nice government job and went to work in an attorney’s office, that was the wrong move for me. About one month into it, I was trying to make arraignments to get back to what I felt like was my home, Columbus. I told Billy I wasn’t happy in Marietta and I wanted to go back. I have always been told by my wonderful mom, “NO matter where you go, there you are!” I couldn’t agree more, but I in this situation I had to go with my gut. So the week before Christmas I came back to Columbus, to my nice government job and moved in with some amazing friends until Billy could get back up here too. He stayed about another month in Marietta until he was able to come back. Everything happens for a reason. Billy was able to spend a lot of time with his brother Jeff before he passed away in a tragic accident on April 9, 2010. The months we spent apart while I was living here and he was living there were for him a God-send. Jeff’s death left a hole in the hearts of everyone who knew him. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and wonder how different our Postcard from Life would look right now if we had not experienced this loss in our lives. The fact is that God has a plan for everyone, even when we don’t understand why. On May 21, 2010 I gave birth to our little baby girl, Camryn June Parks. She was a ray of sunshine busting through the storm cloud that had been hovering over our family for the prior month. When she smiles or laughs you can’t help but to want to just hug her and never let her go. I do have to say that I pride myself on being empathetic, however, I never really understood what my mother-in-law or father-in-law could have been feeling when they had to bury their son, until now. When I look at my little monster (and believe me that is a term of endearment) I can’t imagine having to go through the loss of a child, no matter how old they may be. So isn’t that how life goes? You’ll have joys and you’ll have pains and we live this LIFE one day at a time.
We have so many things to be grateful for and what a more perfect time to talk them than in this month of Thanksgiving.
1. A most wonderful husband, who has the best heart in the whole world. He is the type of guy who will pull over on the side of the road to help someone in need, or help an elderly person to their car with their groceries, and will always hold the door for others. He is truly amazing and I love him more than words can explain, he is my best friend.
2. A healthy, beautiful, 5-month-old baby girl. Who lights up my world every morning, even if it is 4:30am and I have a 10 hour work day ahead of me starting at 6am. I really never understood the love you experience when you have children, until now.
3. The best family and friends anyone could ask for. I have the most honest and caring people around me and it makes me feel very good to know that I can count on them whenever.
4. Passion for photography – you may think this is a silly thing to be thankful for, but for me it is amazing that I can create a work of art that can bring tears to a mother’s eyes when she sees her images for the first time. To be able to capture an image that will be around forever and to have such a powerful emotion attached, words can’t explain the joy that brings me.
I know there are so many more things that I have to be thankful for, but these are just a few. In a time in LIFE when it is hard to look on the bright side of a situation we do have to think that no matter how bad it feels, there are always things we can be grateful for. That doesn’t mean that we can’t cry or put ourselves into time-out, because we need to do that too. I am learning in LIFE there are many days when we need to just let it out, cry so hard that you can’t catch your breath, or close the bedroom door and have a pillow fight with the bed, or laugh so hard that you almost pee your pants (oh heck just go ahead and pee them already.)
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